http://www.hecklerspray.com/remember-the-spitzer-whore-what-does-
she-think-about-stuff/200817333.php
Kids, if you ever want to be famous, don’t forget the importance
of having . with high-ranking government officials for cash.
That’s what Ashley Dupré did, and it’s been the making of her.
Since being named as the prostitute who led to the downfall of
former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, Ashley Dupré has become
a megastar. She can’t even leave her house anymore without
people recognising her and shouting encouraging messages like “I
know you! You’re that whore!” and “Hey Little Miss
Grubbyknickers! Here’s some money! Eat this!”
In fact Ashley Dupré is now so famous that she’s got her own
episode of 20/20 coming up where she gets to reveal that she
doesn’t feel responsible for Eliot Spitzer’s resignation, the
emotions she experienced as the scandal unfolded and the way
that she feels ‘connected’ to Eliot Spitzer’s wife - which we
think might be code for crabs or syphilis or something, though
we couldn’t say for certain.
We have to tip our hat to ABC at the moment. We don’t know how
it’s doing it, but somehow it’s managing to find all the stories
that everybody cared about half a year ago but don’t any more
and give them all super-long documentaries for no apparent
reason whatsoever. ABC, you deserve a medal.
Seriously, thanks to you we’ve learnt all about Peter Cook’s
divorce from Christie Brinkley several months after it stopped
being interesting, and we’ve learnt all about the pregnant man
long after he stopped being even vaguely controversial - so what
now? Oh, that whole ‘Eliot Spitzer banging a whore’ thing!
Nobody’s thought about that since about April, so it must be
time to drag it all out back into the open again, right?
Apparently so. Despite doing her best to lay low since being
implicated in the vice ring that brought down New York Governor
Eliot Spitzer by only being endlessly discussed by Donald Trump
and appearing on a low-rent soft .ography DVD and almost
getting her own TV show, Ashley Dupré has finally decided to
break the silence that we’re told she’s apparently been keeping
on a special edition of 20/20.
Perfect. This Ashley Dupré interview will have something for
everyone, provided that a) you’re into the human interest side
of political scandals, b) you’ve been in a coma since April and
all of this still seems like news to you and c) prostitutes! Woo!
So what shocking and still completely newsworthy nuggets of fact
does Ashley Dupré reveal in her 20/20 interview? ABC has more.
And remember Ashley, extra points if you can phrase your answer
in an unfortunate way:
Dupré told ABC News’ Diane Sawyer that she does not feel
responsible for Spitzer’s downfall. “If it wasn’t me, it would
have been someone else,” she said. “I was doing my job. I don’t
feel that I brought him down.”
Very good. That was an impressively unfortunate way for a
prostitute to discuss one of her clients. Full marks, Ashley.
But what of the future? Well, even though she’s so famous that
she could probably live quite comfortably on a handful of
blowjobs a year now, in the interview Ashley Dupré reveals that
she has actually quit whoring to concentrate on establishing her
singing career full-time.
It’s foolish for Ashley Dupré to want to switch from being a
prostitute to being a pop star - the two professions are so far
apart. After all, being a pop star involves brutal, near-
constant degredation that saps your will to live and often leads
to habitual drug use and grotty bunk-ups with middle-aged men
who promise that they’ll help your career and… oh, wait.
Ashley Dupré’s going to be a brilliant pop star.
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